more brilliance from The Onion

"I enrolled in this course because I was fascinated by the question of God," said sophomore Miriam Blank. "After spending six hours a week in the same room as that unbearable windbag, I think I have my answer. Life is as long as it is cruel."

Guy In Philosophy Class Needs To Shut The Fuck Up (The Onion via reddit)

The guy who was like that in my philosophy classes was named Vaughn. Unfortunately, the "unbearable windbag" can be found in a variety of unnatural habitats.