I was raised as an evangelical Christian. Well, it’s a bit more complicated than that. I was baptized Catholic and my dad was an ex-Mormon but my mom and dad divorced when I was 6 months old. My mom’s parents helped raise me those first few years but my mom “became a Christian” when I was probably 3. I “became a Christian” when I was four and got baptized when I was twelve. I went to an evangelical Christian school and all that.
During my first few years of college I was involved in an evangelical Christian group and attended bible studies and such. I was pretty into the imitation of Christ and tried to get others in the group to “be more committed to Christ’s teachings and example” or something. As I studied more philosophy I became less of an evangelical and more of what I’d call now a theologically oriented and then agnostic Christian.
One day a friend of mine wanted to meet me for breakfast at McDonald’s. She was a fairly close friend of mine who I’d discussed quite a few things with. She was from the UK and a bit of a feminist. A few friends and I had been distancing ourselves from the activities in the group mostly because we were engaging with non-Christians and I was studying theology and philosophy with an ex-Mormon friend who was taking similar classes. This is how my approach to evangelism had always been, at least since middle school. I would talk to strangers and friends about God but refused to do it in any sort of scripted way.
So I meet my friend at McDonald’s and we start eating and drinking coffee. At some point she brings up how me and a few friends haven’t been as engaged with the group and tells me I’m being “used by Satan” and “leading people astray”. At this point I get up from the table and get ready to leave. She starts crying and tries to get me to stay but I walked out.
At first I was mad at her but it didn’t take long until that wore off and I realized how much she was just being used and it was the evangelical Christian context that was creating and defending these kinds of behaviors.
That moment at McDonald’s was both clarifying and freeing. From there on it was soo easy to see what was happening and I could step away from that group without remorse. At some point months later she apologized and asked me to forgive her but at that point I was already just happy about the whole thing and told her no hard feelings.
In the end I was really grateful. This friend too passed away in the last few years.
Rest in Peace. And thanks. And hail Satan!
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